My book, Love From Both Sides – A True Story of Soul Survival and Sacred Sexuality, tells the story of my husband dying in my arms then coming back and not only communicating from the “other side,” but connecting sexually from the In Between. And as bizarre as that might seem, it happens all the time. I get emails from all over the world from new widows, widowers, and lovers who tell me how their lovers came to them, too. They all thank me for writing about my experience, because it is extremely bizarre to have it happen to you. But it happened to me, and that’s why I had to write the book. Actually, you can read the first four chapters at my website: www.StephanieRiseley.com – and then you’ll understand exactly what I mean.
Now, since the book was published, I’ve gotten so many emails from readers thanking me for having the courage to “come out of the closet” with my own embarrassing experience. No one wants to admit to having sex with a “non-physical” entity. But it happens far more often than people suspect, and certainly more often than people admit. Plays, novels and movies abound with examples of sex with sprits, Ghost, Wuthering Heights, Truly, Madly, Deeply, The Ghost and Mrs. Muir, just to name a few, but still, people seem shocked, even aghast, to hear about it. So I guess it’s my job to open up the closet door and let the secret out. It’s not scary, it’s not icky, and it’s certainly not “original sin.” Sex is sacred.
Sex is an energy force – in the Hindu belief system, it’s called Kundalini energy, the Chinese call it Qi, and in the African cultures, it has many names. It’s doesn’t matter what you call it, it’s the same thing: The source of all life – the source of power, a source of pleasure and the source of creativity. That’s why when it get blocked off because of shame and guilt or is demonized, that blocked energy can force people do destructive things.
We are all “energy,” and when our bodies die, the energy just transforms into another “state of beingness.” And that “state of beingness” can still connect with those “energy units” still encased in bodies – that would be you and me. And, as I said, this connection happens quite often to people who’ve just lost their lovers.
As you know, I’m a hypnotherapist, and I do Past Life Regressions. A grief stricken client came to me after her 34 year-old lover Jason had died suddenly while he was repairing his VW bus. He was under the bus when the jack slipped, and the bus crushed him. Shocked, bereft, and devastated, Kathy, my client, thought she was losing her mind, because Jason immediately “connected” sexually with her – and even though it calmed her down, and comforted her, it made her extremely uneasy.
She could feel his energy force shower her with love from the In Between. It was sexual and extremely intense, as she described it – and yes, she had orgasms. Lots of them! He stayed “connected” to her for almost a year, and they carried on their sexual/love relationship until she needed “to move on,” and find a lover who still had a real body.
When I did a Past Life Regression for her, she saw herself as an Indian woman, living in British occupied India. When I said, “Find Jason,” she said, “He’s on my back. I’m carrying him. He’s my son.” She loved him, but when he got older, because she loved him, she wanted the best education she could get for him. Then she saw herself waving good-bye to him as he sailed off to England to be educated. And she never saw him again.
She saw another lifetime, where once again, they were connected, only this time as father and son, and in that lifetime, Jason died young again. But she realized that Jason was her “teacher” – and she understands that in this lifetime, Jason only “came in” to teach her how to love. And because of that, she saw that once she learned how to love him, he needed to leave. Now she feels at peace with his death, because she knows that even though his body died, their love will never die. His love will always be with her.
People ask how can that happen? Love From Both Sides gives you a blow by blow account of how my own husband connected sexually to me. Even though he was the love of my life, and we were soul mates, we didn’t have an easy or perfect relationship. Far from it. We were more like parts of a whole – and we had certain “agreements” that we were meant achieve. Love From Both Sides actually reads like a cautionary tale, believe it or not, because my darling, funny, handsome husband betrayed most of those agreements. And that’s why he had to come back. He had to come back and apologize.
Right now in your own life, you might be in a relationship with a soul mate, and not even realize it. So many people think that “soul mate” means “no work.” Au contraire. Nothing could be farther from the truth. We learn from all our relationships, especially the exasperating ones. But all souls incarnate to learn different things, and the only way to learn them is from different people.
For instance, I studied Past Life Regressions with Brian Weiss, M.D., and the last time saw him at one of his big events, he led a group through a Past Life Regression. And I wondered what our “connection” might be. And boom! I looked down at my feet (in the regression) and saw the dirty, sandaled feet of a young male, and I knew that we were in Judea together during the Roman occupation. I could see all these handsome Roman soldiers around, but I knew that Brian was a leader of rebellious sect – we were all Jews – maybe we were Essenes, one of the many sects that weren’t happy with the way the Jewish Priests were in collaboration with the Romans. I knew I had a job to do for Brian. I was an organizer of sorts, a PR guy, and I was good at my job, but I could see myself as a hot-headed kid, very full of my own importance.
And then, I saw and felt myself get furious with one of the Roman soldiers, (I think I might have been gay) and I threw a rock at him. And that handsome Roman turned around, pulled out his sword and sliced me through. And I was dead. Poof! And Brian, in that life, was furious, because he needed me. He stood over my body and hit his head in disbelief that I could be so stupid as to get myself killed.
We all have different jobs to do. I’m a teacher and healer in this lifetime, and once again I seem to be in PR, too. Only I don’t need to agitate for a new religion. I just need to remind people of how sacred sexual love is, and to take the time to enjoy sex.