Appreciating what we have and focusing on the good our life, as opposed to comparing ourselves to others, is the key to all happiness and solid mental health. Every self-help book published screams at you to do just that, right? Sounds so easy.And yet, do you still criticize yourself and your day-to-day existence? Complaining to yourself all day long? Do you rob yourself of your true joy? Well, so do so many of my clients. Here’s a story of how one young woman broke the habit of being miserable and claimed her power and purpose.
Marcella, a six-foot tall, striking, black 23 year-old, came to see me because she felt unfocused, anxious and unmotivated. Just out of USC, she said she wanted to be an actress, but she wasn’t going on auditions, or doing what has to be done to succeed in that tough, competitive business. She certainly had the beauty, intelligence and background to succeed in it, but she wasn’t even trying and she didn’t know why.
Born in New York City, her parents are both lawyers, so she had a privileged childhood. She always did well at school, and particularly loved helping others. In college, she found the most joy in helping less fortunate children learn. But now, she couldn’t help herself out of her own severe depression. She’d tried talking therapy, she’d tried the drugs and when nothing else worked, she came to see me.
A usual, I did two sessions before the regression, so she could understand the functioning of her brain, and get in touch with her subconscious mind. Then we did the regression. In the regression, first I took her to a childhood memory. She saw herself as a 6 year-old with Jenny, her 3 year-old sister (whom she loves). Her mother is on the phone, and both girls want the attention of their busy mother. But when I asked Marcella what was happening, she said, “I seem to be furious, because Jenny gets away with everything!” (I reminded her that three year olds get away with everything simply because they are three.)
Then we went back to a life that might give her some insight into her problem now. I led her down steps, through an imaginary door, and said, “Look at your feet.”
“I’m a 16 year-old girl. I’m dressed in bright colors for my wedding. I’m in India – it’s a long, long time ago. I’m not happy about this wedding at all. It’s an arranged marriage.”
“Okay,” I said. “Go back and see why you’re not happy.”
“I love another boy!” she said. “We’ve been friends our whole lives. But my family’s so poor and his mother won’t allow the marriage.”
“What happens next?” I asked.
“A man from another village comes. He trades in animals. Pigs and goats. And he sees me, and he wants to marry me, so my mother gives me away to him for pigs and goats!”
“Look at that man’s face,” I said.
“It’s Charles – my boyfriend.”
“What happens next?”
“I’m in my own house – it’s not much, but for the time and place, it’s fine. I’m in another village, and I’ve had a baby, a son. I should be so happy, but I don’t seem to care for him much. I’m just so angry and unhappy. I complain to myself all the time!”
“Then what happens?”
“Not much. I’m just miserable. I only think about the man I wanted and my life as I wanted it to be. And I pay no attention to my husband or my son.”
“What happens next?”
“Who’s with you?” I ask.
“My husband. He’s holding my hand. Oh, my! How he loves me! Why didn’t I see ever that?”
“Float above,” I say. “What did you learn from that lifetime?”
“To appreciate what you have and not to focus on what you don’t have!”
“Would you like to see what it would have looked like if you had chosen to appreciate your life and not complained all the time?”
“You’re going to see an alternate past. Since all time is simultaneous, you’re going to go back in time and make a few changes. First, however, I want you to pretend to be the Goddess Kali, the Indian goddess of destruction and resurrection.”
“Now, go to that moment when she has her son. And go into her house, and stand in front of her – become a vision – and demand that she open her eyes and appreciate every moment!”
“Wow! She hears me! She sees me! I think I scared the hell out of her!”
“Good job! Now, let’s see what happens in that alternate past. Go to the next pivotal experience.”
“She’s changed. The house is brighter, and she’s had another baby. Another two! She’s so happy with her husband and she’s involved with her village. She’s become a leader in her village. She’s helping everyone be happier!”
“Let’s go to the end of that lifetime,” I said. “See how she dies.”
“She’s surrounded with children and grandchildren!”
“Now, go see her funeral.”
“The whole village shows up. She’s burned on a pyre above ground, with garlands of bright flowers and music and dancing! What a difference.”
“Good. Now go to the In Between and see how your soul group greets you.”
“They’re so proud!”
“Find your guide and ask the overall purpose of your soul group.”
“I’m from a Leader – Teaching cluster.”
“Great. Now would it be okay for you to open to your power now? Please accept your beauty as gift and use it to help you lead and teach. I’m going to link you to your guide, and let you hear from her, okay?Where you need to go, you will be led.”
And Marcella heard from her guide and decided to go back to New York, and enter graduate school at Columbia. She’ll work as model there, because of her beauty, but modeling bores her. As did acting, and that’s why she wasn’t motivated. Her purpose is to lead and teach. And now she feels focused, excited and so much happier.
So if you too, feel depressed, unmotivated and unfocused, why not become your inner-Kali? Scare yourself into appreciating “what is” and begin to just love the life you live. And actually, from a brain science point of view, your can re-wire your brain for happiness by doing that simple exercise!
Thanks for reading this, and please share it, okay?Please give me a call if you want help in re-wiring your brain, opening to love and changing your life!