Los Angeles is an amazing place, because people from all over the world live here in peace. People from Iran live in harmony with Russians, Armenians live next door to people from India, and Chinese live in peace with Vietnamese. I have a very soft spot in my heart for Koreans, because in the mid-70s, when I drove a cab in Manhattan, one of the biggest issues I had to deal with, besides the ever-present threat of being killed, was where to pee during the eight hour shifts. There are no public restrooms in New York, and unlike my fellow male cab drivers, (I was the only girl driver in my fleet) I couldn’t just step behind a tree. But luckily for me, in the ’70s, Korean’s began opening fruit stands all over New York, so I’d stop and they would be so kind. And even though no one spoke English and I didn’t speak Korean, they let me use their bathrooms.
Three years ago, Dave, a 38 year-old Korean-American TV director, came to see me because he was eating his hand away. Raw from his index finger to his thumb, his hand looked like steak tartare. Tall, hip and handsome, Dave lived a stress-filled life because of his work, and his work wasn’t going to change any time soon. But he needed help to handle his stress.
Because he had OCD, I explained that it wasn’t a quick fix – it would take focus, mindfulness and a change in his habits of thinking, doing and believing. And at least five sessions. In the first session, I focus on behavior modification and mindfulness therapy. In the second session, I help clients get down to the subconscious sources of the problem, so by the third session, we can do a regression and find any underlying issues.
When dealing with severe anxiety like Dave’s, I always focus on what a client is eating first, because the brain is directly connected to the stomach. And the brain needs high doses of food-derived Vitamin Bs (not pills) to function correctly. In Dave’s hectic life, “craft services” (what passes for food on TV sound stages) serves up processed foods filled with sugar and no real nutrition. So I asked Dave to stop eating on set, and switch to nutrient-filled green blendeds (I usually recommend Dr. Schultz’s Super Food). I hypnotized him to walk every day and listen to CDs I made him. Presto! Within a few weeks, Dave stopped gnawing away at his hand and he felt calm and in control. And we hadn’t done his regression yet.
Before his regression, he first explained that his father, who was the son of a very successful South Korean business man, had failed the bar exam, and in fit of pique, he’d just up and moved his pregnant young wife to Michigan in the 70s. So Dave was born in Michigan.
“Michigan? I said. “There were no Koreans in Michigan back then.”
“No kidding,” he said. “They’d never seen an Asian up close. And because of that, I was taunted and persecuted all through school. In the sixth grade my teacher pointed at me said, “Hey Chink! Get up to the board!””
Ah, I thought, to myself. The place of the “artist” – the outsider.Artistic Souls sometimes choose “challenges” that can be problematic for the personality. Very few artists come from the “Valley of Happy People.”
In the first part Dave’s regression we went through a series of memories, where Dave relived being terrorized by garden variety neighborhood bullies. Using awareness techniques, I allowed Dave to see those events from the perspective of his adult self, and was able un-do the terror stored away in his sub-conscious mind.
When we went onto his birth, Dave saw himself being born; I could tell he was shocked. Like many clients, he didn’t realize that he would have access to that memory. But as Dave looked into the eyes of his own terrified, young father holding his new-born son, Dave began to cry. And years of anger at his parents melted away, and Dave was suddenly filled with love, gratitude and compassion.
So when we did the regression, the first question I asked was: “Why did you choose your parents?”
“It’s the ’50 in Los Angeles,” he said.”Bright sunlight.I’m like a latch-key kid. I’m so alone. I have a grandfather and a young mother. She’s too young.”
“Do you recognize your mother?”
“No. But now I’m a teen-ager. A surfer dude. I’m really blond and good looking and I think I want to be an actor, it’s LA after all.”
“What happens next?”
“I get work on TV, but who cares? I’m feelso lonely and empty inside. I get into all the sex, drugs, rock and roll. Wow. Wild times. But it all bores me, and then I just crash my new car into a guardrail.”
“Float above,” I said. “What did you learn from that incarnation?”
“I came into that lifetime to be an artist. But I needed a loving family. I need connection.”
So in this lifetime, Dave chose a loving family, albeit, somewhat eccentric, family. His younger sister adores him and his parents worship their only son.
Artists can’t be artists unless they something to write about, or paint about or make music about, artists usually need the “wound.” And for Dave, being “the other” – the only Korean in Michigan — helped Dave fight to become successful. And understanding all of that helped Dave let go of his long, buried inferiority because he’s never felt “American” enough.
I saw Dave over period of three years and we worked on many issues. The last being his fear of love, which he conquered, like the warrior he is. Another life!
If you’re feeling anxious, and need help, please call. 323.933-4377. Past life regression can help you find your purpose and transform your life, and as my teacher Brian Weiss reminds me, we are all here on to help people heal.