Are you making yourself miserable? Yes, we are all still stuck in the midst of this World Wide, once in a lifetime, learning opportunity pandemic. So, instead of sinking into the pit of despair, which will tank your immune system, why not use brain science to get yourself happy? Being happy is an inside job!
Here’s a story of how a young black woman broke her life-long habit of making herself miserable.
A couple of years ago, Marcella, a six-foot-tall, striking, black 23-year-old, came to see me. Just out of USC, she thought she wanted to be an actress, but she wasn’t going on auditions, and she wasn’t doing what has to be done to succeed in that harsh, competitive business. She felt unfocused, unmotivated, and guilty because her USC education cost her parents a small fortune.
She’d done all kinds of talking therapy and drugs, but nothing helped. Depressed, angry, and desperate, I was her last resort. She didn’t believe in Past Life Regression, but she was willing to try anything.
Born in New York City, her parents were both hard-working lawyers. Because of that, she had a privileged childhood, which her parents reminded her about constantly. When she visited her poor relatives, she felt their jealousy and anger. She felt guilty that she had so much, and she felt as if she didn’t fit in anywhere.
Her boyfriend, Charles, lived in NYC, but she wasn’t sure if he was “The One.”
A usual, I did two sessions before the regression, so Marcella could understand the functioning of her brain, and get in touch with her subconscious mind, and heal the buried anger of her “inner-child.”
In the third session, the regression, I took her to a childhood memory. She saw herself as a six-year-old with her three-year-old sister Jenny, whom she adores. Her busy mother is on the phone, and both girls want the attention of their working lawyer mommy.
When I asked Marcella what was happening, she said, “I’m furious, because Jenny gets away with everything!”
“Of course she does,” I said. “She’s three. Look at her.”
Marcella smiled. “Oh, she’s so cute! No wonder she gets away with everything. She’s so funny!” Her body filled with love for her sister, and she was able to let go of her anger. Change of perspective heals.
Then we went back to a life that might give her insight into her problem now. I led her down steps, through an imaginary door, and said, “Look at your feet.”
“I’m a 16-year-old girl, and I’m dressed in bright colors for my wedding. It’s India – a long, long time ago. I’m not happy about this wedding at all. It’s an arranged marriage.”
“Okay,” I said. “Go back and see why you’re not happy.”
“I love another boy!” she said. “We’ve been friends our whole lives. But my family’s so poor, and his mother won’t allow the marriage.”
“What happens next?” I asked.
“A man from another village comes. He trades in animals. Pigs and goats. And he sees me, and he wants to marry me, so my mother gives me a way to him for pigs and goats!”
“Look at that man’s face, do you recognize him?” I said.
“It’s Charles – it’s my boyfriend,” she gasped.
“What happens next?”
“I’m in my own house – it’s not much, but for the time and place, it’s fine. I’m in another village, and I’ve had a baby, a son. I should be so happy, but I don’t seem to care for him much. I’m angry and unhappy. I complain to myself all the time!”
“Then what happens?”
“Not much. I’m just miserable. I only think about the man I wanted and my life as I wanted it to be. And I pay no attention to my husband or my son.”
“What happens next?”
“Who’s with you?” I ask.
“My husband. He’s holding my hand. Oh, my! How he loves me! Why didn’t I see that?”
“Let yourself die. Float above,” I say. “What soul lesson did you learn in that lifetime?”
“To appreciate what you have and not to focus on what you don’t have. Wow.”
“Would you like to see an alternate past? What would have happened if you had appreciated your life? And not complained all the time?
“You’re going to see an alternate past-life. Since all time is simultaneous, you’re going to go back in time and make a few changes. First, however, I want you to pretend to be the Goddess Kali, the Indian goddess of destruction and resurrection.”
“Now, go to that moment when she has her son. I want you to dress up like Kali, go into her house, and stand in front of her. Make her see you! Become a vision. Now demand that she open her eyes, see her son as a gift, not a burden, and appreciate every moment!”
“Wow! She hears me! She sees me! I think I scared the hell out of her!” She smiled ear to ear.
“Good job! Now, let’s see what happens in that alternate past. Go to the next pivotal experience.”
“She’s changed completely. The house seems much brighter, joyful, and she’s had another baby. Another two! She’s so happy with her husband now, and she’s involved with her village. She’s become a leader in her village. She’s helping everyone be happier!”
“Let’s go to the end of that lifetime,” I said. “See how she dies.”
“She’s surrounded with children and grandchildren,” she said.
“Now, go see her funeral.”
“The whole village shows up. She’s burned on a pyre above ground, with garlands of bright flowers and music and dancing. What a difference.”
“Good. Now go to the In-Between and see how your soul group greets you.”
“They’re so proud!”
“Find your guide and ask the overall purpose of your soul group.”
“I’m from a Leader – Teaching cluster.”
“Now, would it be okay for you to open to your power now? Instead of feeling guilty about your privileged life and beauty, can you accept these gifts? You need them to help you lead and teach. I’m going to link you to your guide, and let you hear from her directly, okay? Where you need to go, you will be led.”
And Marcella heard from her guide and decided to go back to New York City and be with Charles. He was “The One.” She applied to graduate school at Columbia. Once she realized that her purpose is to lead and teach, she got motivated and got happy.
She learned how to stop her negative inner monologue. By using hypnosis, cognitive behavior modification, awareness therapy, and past life regressions, she made herself happy.
People don’t get happy when they get successful. People get successful when they decide to get happy.
So if you too, feel depressed, unmotivated and unfocused, why not become your Inner-Kali? Scare yourself into appreciating “what is” right now. From a brain science point of view, you can re-wire your brain for happiness by doing that simple exercise. If you want two good books about the science of happiness, check these out: “The Happiness Advantage,” by Shawn Achor, and “The How of Happiness,” by Sonja Lyubomirsky.
If you need help in re-wiring your brain, opening to love, and changing your life, please give me a call. (323) 933-4377
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