People call me all the time wanting to find their “one true love.” Or wondering why they’re so resistant to loving the wife, husband or partner they live with. I usually ask them to read the first four chapters of my book Love From Both Sides – A True Story of Soul Survival and Sacred Sexuality (it’s on my website) because it’s about how it’s possible to can find your “one true love” and then renege on an “agreed upon soul contract” to love. It’s not a love story – it’s a cautionary tale about how a soul can find “true love” and then refuse to embrace it. It’s been almost thirteen years since my darling husband Dan died, but honestly, it still pisses me off that he refused to step-up to the plate and open to love.
Of course, he came back from the “In Between,” and apologized (and apologized and apologized!), then pushed me into doing what I do now, which I will be eternally grateful for, but the opportunity to love him – in his amazing Dan body – will never come my way again.
Because of my own experience, I believe that we’re all here in earth school to learn to love. But learning to love unconditionally sometimes takes more patience, practice and commitment than anyone wants to give it. Recently I’ve had a spate of clients who need help with “soul mates.” One client, who is in a solid marriage of ten years, became obsessed with another woman, and the obsession was threatening to end a marriage. When we did the Past Life Regression, the client “saw” that the woman had been his mother in two other lifetimes. Those kinds of “pulls” can happen all the time.
When Jeff, a handsome 52 year-old animator, called me however, it was because he’d had a heart attack. He needed to lose weight, and he wanted to be hypnotized into taking better care of his body. He’d been wild in his young life, coke and alcohol being the biggest addictions, and he was concerned about his health. He also wanted to understand the relationship he had with his wife. They’d been married for twenty years, a second marriage for both, and he wanted to understand why it was so fraught with problems.
In his first past life regression, he saw himself as a struggling artist, who also had an alcohol problem, and in that life, his work was amazing, but far ahead of its time. He didn’t learn patience in that lifetime, so he killed himself, angry at the “Salon.” In this lifetime, he paints for his own pleasure and sells his paintings as he pleases! (And they are amazing, too!)
In his next regression, when I said, “Look at your feet.”
He said, “I’m a little girl. Charlotte! I’m in the South, and I’m on a plantation.
I asked, “Are you pretty or are you plain?
“Oh, I’m extremely pretty! Everyone responds to my golden curls. I’m the apple of my daddy’s eye! I’m so manipulative!”
I asked him to find his mother, but he wasn’t connected to her at all. I asked him to find his caretaker, and he saw the black slave who loved and cared Charlotte. She had a son, Reggie, who was a few years older than Charlotte and as children they played together in the kitchen.
When I said, “Next pivotal experience.”
Jeff said, “I’m in the stables. I’m being raped!”
As Jeff said that however, from another part of my brain, I heard, “It’s not rape at all. Have him go back and see what really happened.” (As my clients know, I’m a channel. I don’t do these sessions alone.)
So Jeff, a little uncomfortable about being in a woman’s body, rewound the scene, and realized that Charlotte knew exactly what she was doing that day. She loved Reggie, always had, and even though their love was forbidden, not to mention illegal, it didn’t stop that head-strong, beauty from getting what she wanted. She was seventeen the day she sashayed her way into the stables, knowing that 19 year-old Reggie would be there tending to the horses. She flirted with him, teased him, grabbed the brush from his hands and started caressing the mare’s neck, pretending to groom her. The poor boy lost all control, and they wound up making love in the hay. Because of the historical times and the values of the South, she felt ashamed and conflicted about what she wanted – she knew she wanted Reggie.
I said, “Look at Reggie’s face. Do you recognize him?”
Jeff stopped. “It’s Carolyn – it’s my wife!”
Charlotte never told a soul about what had a happened. Reggie was sold soon after that, and Charlotte made a conventional marriage. By the time her father died, she’d learned his lumber business and decided that she would run it. She used her beauty and social position to find ways to connect to the Underground Railroad and the Abolitionists – an extremely dangerous thing to do in the 1850s. She was fierce and brave and she found a way to “buy” hundreds of slaves, transport them to plantations close to the Mason/Dixon line and then get them to freedom. Reggie, too, was a part of the Underground Railroad, and after the Civil War, he made his way back to Charlotte. They could never be lovers again, but Charlotte took care of him until his death.
Jeff wrote: The lesson in that life was to be strong in a time of mass change and to use her assets to help in that change, which she did. The missed opportunity was allowing the social condition at the time to dissuade her from pursuing her love in that life.
So in this lifetime, Jeff’s ready to open up his heart to his wife, Carolyn – Reggie in that life. And take care of his body so they, as a couple, can have lots of time to love each other. He’s lost weight; he’s exercising and eating for his brain! Which is what I hypnotize my clients into doing.
So, if you’re in a relationship with an annoying mate, just remember that everyone annoys everyone else. That’s the truth of it. But if you can accept that other flawed human, and choose to love them, you will have done what you came in to do. Don’t be like my Dan, and die wishing you’d opened your heart to love. Do it now, okay? You’ll live longer and be healthier too!
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