Lots of people come to me because they can’t seem to find that “right” person. The person who is destined to fulfill every fantasy. They want to do Past-Life Regression Therapy to find that perfect soul mate. They want a person who’ll understand their every need, satisfy every want, and cater to their every whim.
I remember when I asked my brand new husband, Dan, what he wanted from me, his new wife. Dan said, “Well, I want a wife who can just look at me and know exactly what I need without my ever saying a word.”
I smiled, kissed him, and said, “Sorry, Dan, my darling. That’s the relationship between a newborn baby and its mother. I’m just your wife. You’re going to have to open your mouth and tell me what you want.”
Dan wasn’t alone in the fantasy belief that people should be mind-readers and “understand me.”
When my clients complain, “No one understands me!”
I smile and say, “Do you understand you? Can anyone really “understand” anyone?
No, the best we can do is to accept and be kind. Adopt a few actions of loving-kindness. Become a Buddhist just for a bit, okay?
Want more love? How about trying a quick and easy three-step spiritual exercise? Just for the week before Valentines’ day? You can do that, right?
Instead of complaining about the partner you have, why not emphasize the positive traits of your partner? (If you don’t have a partner right now, pick someone who you’re angry at!)
- Accept your partner just as he or she is
- Tolerate the aspects of your partner that you wish you could change
- Be grateful for what you have and practice thoughtfulness
Now, I can hear you screaming at me! “You want me to be a codependent doormat?”.
Not at all. Codependence means attempting to do for other people’s work that they must do for themselves.
What I suggest, on the other hand, is that you become the head investigator in your own life. Look at what works and what doesn’t. Adopt a spirit of goodwill. What if being kind and generous-hearted to a partner is actually more effective than nagging or criticizing?
How will you know unless you try?
For instance, I can’t stand being around smokers because I spent almost five years in and out of hospitals with severe lung disease. I also understand that breaking a nicotine addiction is more complicated than giving up heroin, so I don’t shame smokers (or I try not to!). I leave the place where I’m inhaling their smoke.
It’s my job to protect my own body, and it’s not their job. It’s their job to smoke because that’s what they want to do.
Make a deliberate decision to be kind and generous-hearted, and see if it makes you feel good about yourself. And it might turn out that you start to recognize that your partner is doing the best that he or she can, that your love, acceptance and support, might expand your partner’s ability to do well and love you back. Who knows?
So if you want to attract more love in your life, become a love magnet. Be more loving!
If you need help to open to love, Hypnotherapy, Cognitive Behavior Modification, Awareness Therapy, and Past-Life Regression can change your perspective on love.
Next week? If I get approval from my clients, I want to write about a couple who came to me wanting a divorce. But by doing the work and experiencing their soul connections from past lives allowed them to appreciate the life they’re living!
That will be for Valentine’s Day!
If you need help give me a call. (323) 933-4377
Sending you love,
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