From Suicidal to Successful
People call me when they’ve tried everything else and nothing works. I’m used to being the last stop because some folks feel that regression therapy falls into the “airy-fairy” category and don’t believe it can help.
That’s why they’re surprised at how much neuroscience I use to help them reclaim their health and happiness. Hypnotherapy, Cognitive Behavior Modification, along with regression therapy changes brain function, and that’s why it works exceptionally well.
I pay attention when people call me and say they want to kill themselves. There’s never any shame, but it’s a lost opportunity to see how brave you can be.
When Tony, 33, Italian American from New York, called me, he said, “I’m so depressed, I want to die.
“I’m in so much back pain. I’ve thought of killing myself, but I’m Catholic and can’t do that to my parents. I came to LA at 19 and got my dream job in the movie business. My team won an Academy Award last year, and I hurt my back on the job. I’ve been on disability for six months.
“I’ve tried everything. Nothing helps. I can’t even have sex with my girl!
“Do you think you can help me?” he asked, almost in tears.
“Yes, I can help, but it’s not a one-shot deal. It will take time and work. You have to want to change and believe that it’s possible.”
“I’ll do anything it takes.”
“Great,” I said. “That’s what I need to hear.”
When people come to me with what would be classified as severe depression, I take it seriously. Falling into the “pit of despair” can change a person’s brain chemistry because “like-thoughts link together, and like-nerve cells fire together.” And once “like thoughts” get going on a trajectory hurtling downhill, they pick up speed and become a giant poop ball that spatters misery over everything. I call that “poopy brain syndrome.”
I don’t have a magic wand, but I teach techniques that can be highly effective if someone wants help. First, I get a commitment that the person wants to change. I tell them it will take at least five sessions, so they have time to learn the exercises that can change their brain. I ask my clients to become “the head investigator” and discover what they think, do, and believe.
Finding out what constitutes a “hidden belief,” or what a person wants, is the most challenging part of the process, so it takes time. I get so many calls from people who want a quick solution to a lifelong problem and want it now. One session, please. But those people are not my clients because I need intelligent people who know everything takes work and commitment. Second, I get people to flip their brains into “Puppy Brain,” focusing on what is good and being enthusiastic.
Now, back to Tony. Curley-haired and handsome, he was from a prominent New York Italian family. His dad wanted him to take over the construction business, but Tony wanted to come and try his luck in Hollywood.
He had a great girl, Leslie, whom he loved, but because he’d been in so much pain lately, they’d stopped having sex. Besides that, he was vacillating about commitment. Leslie wanted a family, and she needed him to become a man. He felt pressured and overwhelmed.
Tony was a diligent student. He did everything I suggested, from changing what he ate (what you eat affects your brain!) to listening to the hypnosis audio MP3 I made twice daily. He began to walk every day through the pain. He focused on what worked in his body and asked his back to heal.
Within a few weeks, his back pain disappeared, and he was thinking more clearly. His brain fog lifted because he was eating well, and I was so proud of him, but I was still apprehensive. I would have classified myself as over-involved if I were a traditional therapist, which, mercifully, I am not.
When we did the first past life regression, Tony saw himself on a horse in winter overlooking his troops.
“I’m freezing,” he said. “I seem to be in command. It’s the war – our War of Independence. This is awful! My men are in rags. Some of them have no boots. We have no food. We’re starving. I feel lost and desperate. I don’t know what to do!”
“Let’s take you back to your childhood,” I said. “Find your parents.”
“I’m standing outside my house. It’s brick. I’m in Boston. I’m seven—my name’s Josiah. We’re wealthy. I’m from a very prominent family.”
“Find your mother,” I said.
There was silence as his face scrunched up.
“Anyone, you know, in this lifetime?” I asked.
“Yes, I recognize her. She’s much younger, but I recognize her.”
“Who is it?” I asked.
“It’s you.”
No wonder I was a bit “over-involved,” I thought.
“Great. Now find your father.” He found his father, but he didn’t recognize him and didn’t like him. A strict taskmaster, his father belittled everything he did. He felt he could never please him. I walked him through that lifetime. He’d gone to Harvard, like his father before him, and his father expected him to become a lawyer. But Josiah didn’t want that.
His father was a Loyalist, but Josiah sided with the Patriots, and now all hell broke out at home – classic father /son drama, unlike Tony’s real life relationship with his father.
“Next pivotal experience,” I asked.
Tony saw himself as Josiah, now as an officer. He could feel his fear but knew it was time to test himself. He described how he felt as he won his first battles and how he felt as he lost men. He felt his own leadership skills increase, and he felt proud. He was a warrior. Then he stopped and gasped because his “boss” had come to check him out.
“Who is it?”
“It’s Washington.”
The War for Independence dragged on until he found himself back at the moment when he didn’t know what to do.
At that point, I moved him forward. I knew he would either die or triumph.
“Next pivotal experience,” I asked.
“Wow! Wild! So much noise, joy! We won our independence!”
“Next?” I asked.
“I’m back in Boston, and I’m married.”
“Look at your wife’s face.”
“It’s Leslie. She loves me so much! She believed in me. She waited for me.” (Leslie is the girlfriend he was afraid to commit to.)
We went to the “In Between,” and he saw he was a Leader/Warrior. That’s why not being in charge wasn’t good for him. It’s why he couldn’t go back to work.
When he returned to room awareness, Tony understood what he needed to do.
Because he is a Leader, he needed to find a way to use his leadership skills. And that’s what he decided to do.
Tony went home to New York, created an exciting new business, and went into partnership with his dad. He and Leslie got married.
Tony was able to heal his wounded warrior self by connecting with his past “hero self” – and knowing that even when all seems lost, there’s always a way out. He understood that his fear was causing so much havoc in his body, and he was ready to own his “hero self” in this lifetime!
If you need help accessing your inner hero self, please call me. (323) 933-4377
Sending you love,
Stephanie
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